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Admit it, you've hummed or sung along to monster truck video songs haven't you? Well if you don't admit it, you're not a fan. Some of the music tagged onto older monster truck videos were pretty good and entertaining while others just blowed.....errr...make that BLOWN! For those of you who never sang along or for those of us who always wondered what those few words to the songs were, you can now have all the lyrics to the timeless monster truck classics. Brian Varmecky has put together a great list of lyrics to some of his (and our) favorite video tunes for everyone to enjoy. Plus a little song of his own reminding us how good it was with USA! Not to mention the great bonus of famous quotes that will be etched in monster truck history forever.

Song Lyrics

**Lyrics in Italics are spoken.

 

“Big, Bad and Blown”
Written by: Dan Kellerby
Performed By: Christian Brothers Recording (Hot Springs, Arkansas)
Video: “Blood, Sweat and Gears”
Director: Steve Cannon
Ozark Video Productions, Inc. (Springdale, Arkansas)
1987 SRO/PACE Productions, Inc. 

[Narrator] . . .History is made at every US Hot Rod Association show, where you'll see the machines that are big, bad, and blown! 

Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!

Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!

Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!

Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!
Big, Bad, and Blown!

[Dusty Arfon] It's the wildest show, on wheels!]

 

“Monsters of Rock and Roar”
Written by: Dan Kellerby
Performed By: unknown
Video: “Monsters of Rock and Roar” 1993 SRO PACE Productions.
Distributed by: Simitar Entertainment, Inc. Plymouth, MN 55447

Are you ready for the ride of your life?
Then climb up on the back of the fire-breathing monsters of the motor sports world!
The U.S. Hot Rod Association dares you to take a ride with . . .
The Monsters of Rock and Roar!
 

Action that'll make you scream for more,
And power that'll shake you to the core.
Monsters that'll rock you 'til you roar.
Monsters like you've never seen before.
And Monsters that'll rock you 'til you roar!

Monsters of Rock, of Rock and Roar.
They'll make you scream!
Monster of Rock and Roar, Monsters of Rock and Roar.
Monsters like you've never seen before.
Monsters that'll rock you 'til you roar.

Monsters of Rock, of Rock and Roar
They'll make you scream!
Monsters of Rock and Roar,
Monsters of Rock and Roar. 

(Instrumental)

 Power that'll blow you out the door.
Action that'll leave you on the floor.
Monsters that'll rock you 'til you roar
Monsters that'll make you scream for more!
Monsters like you've never seen before,
Monsters of Rock, of Rock and Roar.
They'll make you scream,

Monsters of Rock and Roar,

Monsters of Rock and Roar,

Monsters of Rock and Roar.

 

“Don’t Bog Down”
Written by: Dan Kellerby
Performed By: Christian Brothers Recording (Hot Springs, Arkansas)
Video: “Blood, Sweat and Gears”
Director: Steve Cannon
Ozark Video Productions, Inc. (Springdale, Arkansas)
1987 SRO/PACE Productions, Inc.

And then there's one of the slickest events around: mud bog drag racing! 

(heh heh heh)

If down and dirty is down right fun,
You gotta hit the mud and get the gold! 

When you're in the bog, you ain't foolin' round,
You gotta hold your own and let it slide!
(mua ha, yeah)

 Hey there boy, if you think your slick,
You gotta hold your own and get out quick! 

Rockin' in the bog is really mean,
You jostle around and then you scream! 

(Instrumental)
Don't
(Don't)
Bog
(Bog)
Down!
(Don't bog down!)
(Don't bog down!)

 

“Manic Mechanic”
Album: Deguello (1979 Warner Brothers)
Performed by: ZZ Top
Video: “MotoRock Video Number 1: Monster Madness”
Producer: C. Blain Smith
1986 B.E.T. Promotions, Inc.
A Halcyon Days Production 

You want to race?
If you insist.
At that price, I can't resist.
That's right, that's right, that's right.

Tonight it ain't right,
I got to have me a week.
But I'll be back for you, Jack,
And I'll let the machine speak.
That's right, that's right, that's right.  

Showdown? You bet.
And I haven't saddled my pony yet.
Have mercy, Miss Percy.
I done put the coon tune on this bet.
That's right, that's right, that's right.

 

“Slippin’ and a-slidin’”
Written by: unknown
Performed By: Little Richard (?)
Video: “MotoRock Video Number 1: Monster Madness”
Producer: C. Blain Smith
1986 B.E.T. Promotions, Inc.
A Halcyon Days Production

 

Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', been told long time ago,
Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', been told long time ago,
I been told, baby, you been bold, I won't be your fool no more. 

Oh, big conniver, nothing but a jiver, done got hip to your jive,
Oh, big conniver, nothing but a jiver, done got hip to your jive,
Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', won't be your fool no more. 

Oh Malinda, she's a solid sender, you know you better surrender,
Oh Malinda, she's a solid sender, you know you better surrender,
Slippin' and a slidin', peepin' and a hidin', won't be your fool no more.

 

“It’s Better in the USA”
Written by: n/a
Performed By: n/a
Video: “MotoRock Video Number 1: Monster Madness”
Producer: C. Blain Smith
1986 B.E.T. Promotions, Inc.
A Halcyon Days Production 

The madness of motorock, and the US Hot Rod Association! It's all part of what makes it better in the USA! 

Well, they look to the east,
They look to the west,
The third world wonders which way's the best.
We've got freedom, we've got soul,
We've got blue jeans and rock and roll. 

There ain't no choice, it's better in the USA.
(It's better in the USA)
You can be what you want, and say what you want to say.
(It's better in the USA)
How can I make you understand it's better in the USA?
(It's better in the USA)

I hear the same propaganda, day after day,
It's getting' so hip to knock the USA.
Well if we're so awful, and we're so bad,
You oughta check the night life in Leningrad.
And it ain't even close, it's better in the USA.
(It's better in the USA)
You can see behind the curtain, life is cold and gray.
(It's better in the USA)
How can I make you understand it's better in the USA?
(It's better)
I think I'll play it
!
(It's better) 

Nobody's perfect and change comes slow, it's really up to you which way you want to go,
You can move to the left, or move to the right,
You can stand in the dark you can stand in the light! 

Driving on the beach on a night in June,
Me and my baby in a lover's moon,
Playing sweet soul music, got it turned up loud,
Makes me feel so good, makes me feel so proud! 

There's ain't no choice, it's better in the USA.
(It's better in the USA)
They'd be moving here from Moscow if they could only find a way.
(It's better in the USA)
How can I make you understand it's better in the USA?
(It's better in the USA) 

We've got the burgers and fries (In the USA)
We've got the friendly skies (In the USA)
We've got the beautiful girls (In the USA)
We've got the beautiful curls (In the USA)
We're driving beautiful cars (In the USA)
And seeing movie stars (In the USA)
We get to make romance (In the USA)
And let the little girl dance (In the USA)
It's better baby.
Nice sweater baby.
Whattaya say you and me go for a little ride?
Come'on

(It's better)
(It's better)
(It's better)

 

“Jammin’”
Written by: Dan Kellerby
Performed By: Christian Brothers Recording (Hot Springs, Arkansas)
Video: “Blood, Sweat and Gears”
Director: Steve Cannon
Ozark Video Productions, Inc. (Springdale, Arkansas)
1987 SRO/PACE Productions, Inc. 

            Welcome to the best seat in the house, for the fastest growing arena sport in America-the United States Hot Rod Association shows.              Ready for action? Ready for a good time? Then strap yourself in, and lets jam it into gear!

 Jammin', Jammin'!
(Mmm)
Jammin', Jammin'!
(Whoa-wa!)
Jammin', Jammin'!
(Ooo-wowah!)
Jammin', Jammin'! 

<instrumental> 

Jammin', Jammin'!
(Mmm, Mmm)
Jammin', Jammin'!
(Ooo yeah!)
Jammin', Jammin'!
Jammin', Jammin'!
(Mmm)
Jammin', Jammin'!
[Jim Kramer] Have a jam good time!

 

“Mud Bog Maniacs”
Written by: Dan Kellerby
Performed By: unknown
Video: “Monsters of Rock and Roar”
1993 SRO PACE Productions.
Distributed by: Simitar Entertainment, Inc. Plymouth, MN 55447 

Keep it up if you can, because it's time to jam with the mud bog maniacs.
(Maniacs!)
Maniacs! 

If you're not strong you won't be long with the mud bog maniacs.
(Maniacs!)
Maniacs!

* Chorus *
It's a suicide run and you'd better beware,
The bog is a <?>
Baby, you better hope and pray or the bog'll take you away. 

Playing games with the bog, they're dirty little hogs they're the mud bog maniacs.
(Maniacs!)
Maniacs! 

Dirty little boys playing with their toys they're the mud bog maniacs.
(Maniacs!)
Maniacs!

Chorus

<?> in the mud bog maniacs.
(Maniacs!)
Maniacs!

 You have to know the rap, the bog don't take no crap from the mud bog maniacs.
(Maniacs!)
Maniacs! 

Chorus 

(<?>)
M-m-maniacs!
M-m-maniacs!
Maniacs! Maniacs!
(Who'd you think you're foolin'?)
Maniacs! Maniacs!
Maniacs!
M-m-maniacs!
Maniacs!
 
Thanks to Cale Putnam for help with the lyrics to this song.
<?> means the lyrics are unknown

 

“Shake, Rattle and Roll”
Written by: Dan Kellerby
Performed By: unknown
Video: “Monsters of Rock and Roar” 1993 SRO PACE Productions.
Distributed by: Simitar Entertainment, Inc. Plymouth, MN 55447 

Shake you up and rattle your soul,
The thunder hits you <?> go
Scream and roar with all their might,
'cause the mean machines are here to fight! 

Shake, rattle and roll.
Shake, rattle and roll.
We'll rock you like never before. 

Shake, rattle and roll.
Shake, rattle and roll.
We'll rock you like never before. 

We'll have you on the edge of your seat,
Non-stop excitement that can't be beat,
While the crazy men get down,
They'll shake, rattle, and roll your town. 

Shake, rattle and roll.
Shake, rattle and roll.
We'll rock you like never before. 

Shake, rattle and roll. (mmm)
Shake, rattle and roll. (mmm)
Shake, rattle and roll. (Oh!)
Shake, rattle and roll. 

Shake, shake, rattle and roll. 

Shake, rattle and roll, come on now!
Shake, rattle and roll.
We'll rock you like never before. 

Shake, rattle and roll, come on now!
Shake, rattle and roll.
We'll rock you like never before. 

Shake, rattle and roll, come on now!
Shake, rattle and roll.
We'll rock you like never before.

 

“What is love all about?”  aka "Stool Pigeon"
Written by: Johnny Jones
Performed By: Nixon Pupil
Video: “Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Monster Trucks”
Music by Johnny Jones, David Strange, and Bart Trauma.  Copyright 1989 JKS Music.  Equus
Record (EQ-003) copyright 1989.  Published by: JKS Music 1989.  Produced
by Dave Swenson, Brent Brainiff and Nixon Pupils 1989- Minot ND 1989.
Distributed by: Simitar Entertainment, Inc. Plymouth, MN 55447
(* - credits on video are to Nixon Pupil and Child Support.) 

The automotive world has seen a lot of wild things in the past few years . . .

 I don't care what they say,
I don't care what they do,
It doesn't matter anyway,
As long as I am next to you.
Upside-down, inside out, what is love all about?
Upside-down, inside out, what is love all about? 

You're such a bright, bright girl,
I'm such a stupid, stupid boy.
Such a crazy mixed up world,
And you're so hard to avoid. 

Upside-down, inside out, what is love all about?
Upside-down, inside out, what is love all about? 

Oouh! 

I don't care what you say,
Still don't care what you do,
It don't matter anyway,
As long as I am next to you 

Upside-down, inside out, what is love all about?
Upside-down, inside out, what is love all about?
What is love all about?
What is love all about?

 

 

Opening Title Screen
United Sports of America “Monster Mania”
Executive Producer: Chris Fritz and Russ Cline
Paddock Productions, Inc., Kansas City, MO.
1985 Visual Associates and United Sports of America 

Man created the combustion engine. He perfected these engines and his skills so well that Motor Sports became the number 1 Spectacular Sport in the world from indoor arena to NFL Stadiums. The National Motor Spectacular has entertained millions of people with Truck Pulls Mud Races and Thrill shows from coast to coast. Now the top racers, the giant trucks and US of A team up to take you on a journey to . . .Monster Mania!

 

Red Man/ TNT All American Pulling Series Opening Monologue 

Get ready for the thrilling spectacle of truck and tractor pulling! 

[Army Armstrong: . . . Kramer goes over . . .] 

What was once a dare has been transformed into the most incredible display of brute horsepower in modern motor sports. Top, little, supercharged minis and eleven thousand pound multiple-engine drag rails. From the dirt and grime of mud racing to the uncontrollable horsepower of the monster trucks, it's the most powerful sport on earth and it's back on the all-new Powertrax bringing you the best of the Red Man/TNT All American Pulling Series! 

Sit back, buckle up, and get ready for the battle of the big guns . . .

 

“Bigfoot Strikes Again” Video Opening Monologue
1989 Bigfoot 4x4, Inc.
Distributed by: Mediacast Television Entertainment, Ltd.
As narrated by Gary Lee.
Thanks to Cale Putnam for providing this transcript. 

In the beginning, there was darkness.
Then, out of the void came fire, smoke, metal.
On the forge of imagination, an incredible thing began to take shape.
A creature of raw, unbridled power. A creature with no equal.
The very first of its kind.
A thing so awesome, it could only be called a monster.

In the beginning, there was Bigfoot, the first monster truck to stalk the earth.
No town was too small, no city too large.
Bigfoot roamed the land in search of action, excitement, and conquest.
Today, Monsters are everywhere. Monsters are real.
But, when the dust settles and the smoke clears

A cry is still heard throughout the land...BIGFOOT, King of the Monster Trucks!

 

“Knights of the Round Tire” Monologue
Video: “MotoRock Video Number 1: Monster Madness”
Producer: C. Blain Smith
1986 B.E.T. Promotions, Inc.
A Halcyon Days Production
Narrated by: Doug Jeffers 

To Crush, or not to Crush?
That is indeed the question.
Whether 'tis nobler to play the role of modern day gladiator
And assume the armor of the trade,
To take the ultimate pride in the fire-breathing chariot one must ride,
With hours of polishing and tuning behind.
The Battle looms.

There's no place to hide,
The arena beckons, the unseen voices cry:
'Bring forth the monsters!
Let them fight, let them vie!'
And high atop the metal steeds,
Brimming fuel and flame and fire,
Sit the noblest of them all,
The Knights of the Round Tire!
But enough of pomp and praise and prattle,
Let's begin, The Ultimate Battle!

"Drive That Monster Truck" 
Video": "Monster Truck Bloopers 3"

By Group5

                 I'm up to my shins in mud, what a sight
            I didn't sleep all night
            My back is sore and my hands are a dread
            Now this carbeurator here don't wanna work
            I must love to play cause it sure as heck don't play

            CHORUS:
            Come on and drive that monster truck
            Come on and drive that monster truck

            From town to town and coast to coast we're drivin' every night
            Six to a room and three to a bed
            Now we're up against a Sherman tank or a Chevy truck
            We're at the line, we're shifting gears, let her go

            CHORUS:
            Come on and drive that monster truck
            Come on and drive that monster truck

            (INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)

            The flag is up, the engines roar, I'm glad I checked the clutch
            The old man says it's in the bag
             I think we'll shave a sec of two the second time around
            The best man wins and the loser has to pay

            I should've stayed at home an' gone to school like my momma said
            But this is all the class I need
            I learned that awesome power an' guts'll win it every time
            The finish line is the only line for me.

            CHORUS:
            Come on and drive that monster truck
            Come on and drive that monster truck
            Come on and drive that monster truck

 “It was better with USA”
Parody lyrics written by: Brian Varmecky, 2002 

Well I'd turn on the tube,
Every Friday night,
Watching Motor Madness, for the monster's flight,
It had action, and trucks galore,
It had great racing, and so much more. 

Man it ain't even close, it was better with USA
(It was better with USA)
They had great announcers, including Mike Galloway.
(It was better with USA)
How can I make you understand it was better with USA?
(It was better with USA) 

We saw the debut of 'Dozer, with smoke out the nose,
And great PAT action from Joe Brozo'
Morris was the champ, Executioner rolled,
I tell you that show was solid gold. 

Man there ain't choice, it was better with USA
(It was better with USA)
Des Moines was freezing, they should have scheduled it for May
(It was better with USA)
How can I make you understand it was better with USA?
(It was better)
I think I'll write a song about it!
(It was better) 

No, it wasn't perfect, it sometimes ran slow,
But now with CCE the show really blows.
We used to have Chicago and then we had drags,
Now we get Wrestlers and drivers that brag. 

USA got sold 'cause PACE had the bucks,
Now we can't see any Bigfoot trucks,
Meents always wins and never stays on all four,
And after week one it becomes a bore, 

Man it ain't even close, it was better with USA
(It was better with USA)
The live TV shows were better than tape delay
(It was better with USA)
How can I make you understand it was better with USA!
(It was better with USA) 

We had David and Guy (with USA)
We had Eric and Sky (with USA)
We had Ralph Sheheen (with USA)
And the racing was clean (with USA)
All the PATS were cool (with USA)
And the mud bogs ruled (with USA)
We saw the finals for free (with USA)
And banana slurpees. (with USA)
It was awesome, baby.
Hope you saw some, baby.
Whattaya say you and me go watch some tapes?
Come'on!
(It was better)
(It was better)
(It was better)

 

 

Famous Quotes From The World of Monster Truck Racing”

 

"If you can't beat 'em you gotta kill 'em...I guess."

                        --Dennis Anderson after T-Boning David Morris in Equalizer

"It's gonna be a Full Boogaloo double throw-down of a race."

                        --Army Armstrong, random events 87-96

“There’s nothing in the world slicker than wet grass."

                                --Army Armstrong

 "We're in trouble Scott/Richard!

                                --Army Armstong whenever a truck was going to roll or got wild

“He’s a wizard! He’s a sorcerer! He’s going after everything in his path and they’re taking cover!”
                                --Ken Broo on Ernie Brookins (Trak Attack) at Kansas City, MO.

 

 “And they meet for a friendly visitation on the finish line.”

                                                    --Mike Galloway, Anaheim, CA after the Virginia Beach Beast and                                      Gator tanks collide.

 

“Un-be-LIEV-able!”

                       --Brett Kepner, all the time.
 

“Rod Litzau: On his nose, now on his side, and he is down!”

                                 --Richard Leek in Louisville, KY as Rod Litzau (USA-1)
                                    rolls in the 1988 TNT National Point Series Finals.

 

“No Larry, it’s WOO-ster!”

            --Margo King corrects Larry Huffman

 

“I’ll take this junker and dig your grave!”
                                --Dennis Anderson

 

“What did he do to my pizza?”

--Dennis Anderson on “Domination”
             after Eric Meagher licked his pizza.

 

“I just closed my eyes and put the pedal to the floor. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”

                              --Bob Chandler, Houston Astrodome 1987

 
“Let’s crush some cars!”

           --Jim Kramer on The Travel Channel’s “Secrets”

 

“Snakes don’t have necks”

                                 --Eric Meagher (or Tack?) as Colt Cobra in reply to Army Armstrong
                                    asking if his rough run hurt his neck.

 

“Smells like the same stuff I was drinkin’ last night”

                                 --Dan Patrick on TLC’s “Secret World of Monster Trucks”
                                    after sniffing a bottle of fuel.

 

“Only me and the laundry lady will know”

                                --Allen Pezo, when asked if he was scared when
                                    the truck rolled over in Nashville 1999.

 

“I don’t think his elevator goes all the way to the top.”

                                --Michael Vaters on Dennis Anderson

 

“It’s because of your big foot!”

            --Ron Magruder to Bob Chandler, inspiration for his truck’s name.

 

"You know, next Wednesday - if you call 1-800 DIGGER he will come to your house and crush cars, they don't have to be your cars, just have your neighbors leave, he'll crush their cars, remember that's 1-800 DIGGER!"

                                       --Dan Patrick and Dennis Anderson after a final round
                                              in the 1999 Monster Jam Series.

 "When he turns on those red lights, he's at 100 percent. When he turns on those lights, something's going to happen."

                --Army Armstrong on the Tuff Trax series commenting on Dennis Anderson's Grave Digger.

 

"Dump the clutch and ride!"   "He's GOING OVER!!!!"

                --Mike Galloway when Goliath stood straight up during an exhibition car crush.

 

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